The couples who have the best experiences share one thing: they did the alignment work before the first night. This checklist covers the 47 conversations, decisions, and agreements that serious couples make before beginning.
Use this as a conversation starter, not a form to fill out. The goal is the conversation, not the completion.
Section 1: Motivations (7 items)
- Why does each of us want this? (Written separately, then compared.)
- What are we each hoping to feel during the experience?
- What are we hoping to feel afterward?
- Is this a one-time exploration or an ongoing lifestyle choice?
- Are both partners entering from genuine desire, or is one accommodating the other?
- What does success look like for our first experience?
- What would make this not worth continuing?
Section 2: Boundaries (8 items)
- What acts are completely off the table, no exceptions?
- What requires explicit in-the-moment permission before proceeding?
- What is pre-authorized within a defined range?
- Does the husband observe, participate, or remain absent?
- What is the physical proximity arrangement?
- Are photos or videos permitted? By whom? Stored where? Deleted when?
- Is overnight allowed? Travel to another location?
- Is repeat contact with the same bull allowed? Under what terms?
Section 3: Communication & Safety (7 items)
- What is the stop signal, verbal and non-verbal?
- How does the wife signal discomfort without fully breaking the mood?
- What check-in process exists during the encounter?
- How do we debrief afterward? Timing and format?
- What is the process if one partner wants to stop entirely?
- What's the protocol if the bull behaves unexpectedly?
- Who handles messaging the bull before and after?
Section 4: Bull Vetting Standards (7 items)
- What verification do we require before any in-person meeting?
- Is a video call required before the first meeting?
- STI testing: required? How recent must it be?
- What questions do we ask during the vetting process?
- What disqualifies a bull immediately?
- How many conversations before agreeing to meet in person?
- Is the first meeting public or private? How long?
Section 5: Privacy & Discretion (6 items)
- Which friends or family, if any, know about our lifestyle?
- What platform do we use and why?
- What information does the bull know about us?
- What photos, if any, are shared, and with what face or identifier restrictions?
- What is our protocol if someone we know encounters our profile?
- What happens to all contact and photos when an interaction ends?
Section 6: Emotional Landscape (7 items)
- What do we do if jealousy or unexpected discomfort arises?
- Is there a cooling-off period available to either partner without judgment?
- How do we handle it if the wife develops feelings for a bull?
- How do we handle it if the husband struggles more than expected?
- What does post-experience intimacy look like?
- What's our plan for a 'reset' if an experience goes badly?
- How often do we check in on the overall health of the lifestyle choice?
Section 7: Logistics (5 items)
- Where does the first in-person meeting happen?
- Where does the first encounter happen, if we progress?
- Who books the location?
- What is the exit plan if we need to leave early?
- What is the check-in plan for the husband if he's not present?